Impressions

We just finished hosting a family of five from Norway for three weeks.  The youngest boy is a friend of my son, Kaleb, so we invited the whole family over for their first ever visit to America.  It was interesting to hear their observations of differences between our two countries.

Janne, the mom, said, “Everyone here greets each other with open arms and a big hug.”  That would never happen in Norway, where a polite handshake and a smile is the norm.  Janne practiced the American style of hugging on a few of my friends and it made her laugh every time.  It’s out of her comfort zone to give a hug.  She noticed how often Kaleb hugged me or sat on my lap and she commented several times she thought it might become a problem for Kaleb as he ages, that we are “so close.” 

Haavard, the dad, spent time talking politics with my husband, so he noted that Americans have more political choices than Norwegians do.  In Norway, no one but the politicians are allowed to vote on particular matters.  Norwegians can only vote in their politicians, but then have no voice on any issues.  They can call an election at any time, however, and vote out whoever they want.  Sweet.

Sondre, the 18-year old, said he liked how cheap the prices are in America.  Nearly every day he was here, he asked if we could stop by Wal-Mart.  He also liked Ross, where their family bought 21 pairs of shoes to take home.  A pair of name brand tennis shoes costs about $250 in Norway, but at Ross, they got them for about thirty bucks.

Haakon, the 15-year-old, noticed right away that the roads are so much bigger, with so many more lanes on each side.  We were stuck in traffic a few times, however, so he could see, they still weren’t big enough.

Andre, the 11-year-old, liked all the food.  He thought the candy and snack options were better, as well as the fast food choices.  Eating out in Norway is ridiculously expensive so Andre came to love Taco Bell, Subway and Costco pizza while he was here.

The whole family noticed we are on different time schedules.  Norwegians tend to stay up until the wee hours of the morning, then sleep til noon when they are on vacation.  One day they wanted to go to the beach but they weren’t ready to go until four.  They’re used to the sun never setting in the summer, so their days never end in Norway, but here, the days often ended shortly after we arrived at our destination. 

Hardy Folks

Just a few weeks ago we were invited to an outdoor “family fun day” sponsored by our church.  It happened to be pouring down rain that Saturday, but we put on our rain jackets and headed out anyway.  I guess we’ve been around Norwegians enough that we realize “rain happens” but it doesn’t have to ruin any plans.  We were shocked when we showed up and no one else was there. 

When we lived in Norway, families put on their raincoats, rain pants and boots and headed on out, hiking in the mountains, walking in the neighborhood, riding bikes into town – all in the rain.  It rains so much in our hometown in Norway that if people waited for a nice day to do anything outdoors, they’d never get outside.  My son even complained when he attended school there that they must go outside during recess, no matter what the weather.

When we lived in Norway we were invited to a school beach party.  It was pouring down rain that day but everyone still showed up with their little beach grills and hot dogs.  People stood around under umbrellas, grilling and carrying on conversations like nothing was wrong with the day.  Kids played soccer in the rain while parents prepared the picnic. 

Norwegians are a hardy bunch.  Even in the winter, the kids play soccer in the snow.  One of the funniest things we saw was a snowplow working the local soccer field.  They cleared the field and piled up the snow around the edges so the kids could still have their practice.  In America, my son was on a soccer team for a few years in LaConner.  They played for eight weeks in the fall.  I signed him up for soccer in Norway and was shocked to find out they play soccer all year around, except for eight weeks in the summer.  He didn’t make it the whole year, it was just too brutal.

Summer weather in Norway is often brutal as well.  My husband’s cousin Odd (pronounced “Ode”) likes to say, “If it’s summer, we’re outside.”  He has a deck with an outdoor heating unit attached and plenty of wool socks and blankets in which to bundle up.  No matter what the weather, if it’s summer, he is indeed, outside enjoying the fresh air, eating dinner, having a beer, reading the newspaper.  It all must be done outside.

Helly Hansen, a famous Norwegian outdoor sportswear company has encapsulated the entire Norwegian philosophy by creating a slogan that gets repeated often in Norway on rainy days -  “There’s no such thing as bad weather – just bad clothes.”  How true it is.

Thanks

There are many ways to express thanks when in Norway.  The most common expression is “Tusen takk” - it means “A thousand thanks.”  My husband, Kory, jokingly explains to people that for years, Norway could never afford to say, “Thanks a million,” because they were a poor country.  Times have changed that, but the “Tusen takk” remains. 

When paying for something in the store, the person giving back the change often says, “Thanks shall you have,” (“Takk skal du ha”) as a way of saying thanks for shopping there.  It sounds awkward to me.

When greeting someone you haven’t seen for a while, whether it’s been just a day, or years, it’s customary to say, “Thanks for last” (“Takk for sist”), which is shorthand for, “Thanks for the last time I saw you.  I still remember it fondly.”  I like that greeting.

After eating, one should always say, “Thanks for the food,” (“Takk for maten”).  Often children will jokingly say this little rhyme to their parents, “Takk for mat og takk for drikke, oppvasken tar jeg ikke,” which means, “Thanks for the food and drink, but I won’t clean up.”

In very traditional homes, the children will walk over to their mother, curtsy or bow, shake her hand, and say their thanks for the meal.  That routine was common a few generations back and still survives in some homes today.  Of course now, the thanks would go to whoever made the food, mother or father.

It’s common to thank God before eating and in many Christian homes, a prayer of thanks is also said when they are done.  My favorite pre-meal prayer translates as, “Many have food but cannot eat.  Others can eat, but have no food. We have food AND we can eat, therefore we will praise the Lord.”  My son’s favorite is, “Food, Hallelujah, Amen.”

When departing someone’s home, it’s important to say, “Thanks for me” (“Takk for meg.”)  It’s shorthand for, “Thanks for inviting me, I had a great time.”  If spending the night in a Norwegian’s home, before retiring, it’s polite to say, “Thanks for today,” (“Takk for idag.”)

I’ve made plenty of mistakes speaking Norwegian, even when just saying “Thanks.”  We were invited over for an evening at some friend’s house.  As we said our goodbyes, I said what I would normally say in English at the end of such a lovely night -“Thanks for everything.”  But when I translated that to Norwegian and said “Takk for alt,” I got a startled look from our hostess and she jokingly asked if I thought she was going to be dying soon.  I quickly learned that in Norway, “Thanks for everything” is only said to a dead person.  Oops. 

Kissin' Cousins

My dad grew up in the Ozark Mountains of southern Missouri and he used to tell me some pretty funny jokes about family members marrying each other.  They were just jokes, though, and based on my genealogy research for his side of the family, no one was even remotely related to one another.  We still had some good laughs about the stereotypes of those “hillbillies” down south, where everyone was related.

That whole intermarriage thing isn’t really a joke when it’s true to life, though. No where have I seen family trees looking more like vines than in researching Norwegian family roots - including my mother’s side of our family.  I’ve also helped many friends do research on their Norwegian ancestry and I’ve yet to find a tree that didn’t have some family members marrying each other.  They obviously didn’t get out much.  First and second cousins marrying each other was very common in the old days, but shockingly, it still happens today.  It’s not illegal in Norway for first cousins to marry.  In fact, the parents of the King of Norway himself are first cousins.

The year we lived in Norway we met one of our neighbors – a young guy from California whose mom grew up just down the street from where we lived.  He was living in Norway for a few years just for the fun of it.  As we got to talking we discovered he is related to my husband, Kory, which caused the conversation to turn to how it seems everyone is related to everyone else in that area.  He told us when he meets a woman he’s interested in and asks her on a date, before he ever kisses her, he finds out where her family came from, for that very reason.  Unbeknownst to him, he’d been on a few dates with second cousins and it grossed him out.  He had no desire to become Kissin’ Cousins with anyone.  Coming from America, he has a different view on things than the Norwegians, who think it’s perfectly normal.

Jens, one of Kory’s relatives, married his own second cousin.  Jens didn’t know at the time he started dating her that they were related, but once he found out they had more in common than he initially thought, it didn’t stop their affections.  Jens’ parents were first cousins - so being married to his second cousin didn’t seem so bad to him.  Two of Jens’ great grandparents were siblings and their other sibling was the great grandfather to his wife.  That family tree is a very twisted vine, but all the descendants seems just fine to me – not at all like some of the people we’ve seen running around in the Ozarks.

Drunk Drivers

Random traffic stops by the police in Norway are common.  They set up road blocks and check every car that passes by for things like bald tires and other safety issues, unbelted passengers, people talking on cell phones and drunk drivers.  Norwegian officials don’t mess around when it comes to driving drunk.  They have zero tolerance for it and the consequences are so severe, very few people ever do it.

Norway has the strictest laws in Europe on drunk driving.  The legal limit is 0.1%, which isn’t much.  A spoonful of cough syrup might push one into the illegal zone.

Whenever we have been to a dinner party, or hosted one, there is always a designated driver and that person won’t even touch their lips to alcohol the entire evening.  When we’ve been out to a restaurant and everyone’s had a drink or two, we either take a taxi home or have someone come get us. Some people will walk an hour home even if they’ve had just one drink, because no one ever wants to run the risk of getting caught.  There is mandatory jail time involved plus loss of driver’s license and a huge fine which is on a sliding scale and usually the equivalent to a month and a half’s salary times how many points over 0.1% a person is.

There is no plea bargaining or getting a good lawyer to help out in drunk driving cases, so if a person gets caught, they are guilty.  The consequences are swift and steep.  (America has a thing or two to learn about handling drunk drivers in that regard.)

One guy I read about, the son of a rich ship builder, got caught in a random road side stop with a 0.9% alcohol level.  He had to pay about $130,000 for his drunk driving ticket, spend three weeks in jail and he lost his license for over two years.  When stuff like this makes the headlines, people understand that zero tolerance means zero tolerance no matter who you are.  The law states if he gets caught driving drunk again within five years, he’ll lose his license for life.  They don’t mess around.

I also read about a woman that got caught in a random stop with alcohol on her breath.  She spent thirty days in prison chopping wood, she lost her license for three years, had to go to rehab, and her fine was the equivalent of about $78,000.  Her blood alcohol level was 0.7%, which in Washington State, isn’t even illegal.

Prayers and Peace for Norway, please.

I'm sad beyond words.  It's like an innocent child being molested.  Norway may never be the same.

Weddings

In Norway, there are four types of invitations that go out for weddings.  The first is a newspaper announcement which serves as an invitation for any and all who want to attend, to come on by the church and watch the bride and groom become man and wife.  No need to RSVP.  If the church gets full, the pews get cozier.  And there is no obligation to bring a gift, as there’s a good chance no one even knew you were there.

Norwegian weddings look like American ones with a few exceptions. There are chairs at the front of the church with the bride and maid of honor on one side facing the groom and best man on the other.  There are no other attendants.  Songs are sung, candles lit, the priest talks and prays.  When the time comes to exchange vows, the couple briefly stands up.  The maid of honor moves over and for the remainder of the ceremony, the wedding couple sit side-by-side.  It’s difficult to see what’s going on with everyone sitting, but Norwegians appreciate the ability to relax, even on their special day.

Prior to the wedding, immediate family and close friends get an invitation to attend the formal dinner after the ceremony.  And I mean formal.  There are place names, seating charts, a master of ceremonies, speeches and a schedule.  Everyone in attendance is expected to give a speech, read a poem they have written, or sing a song.  It’s common to take a familiar tune and rewrite the words telling something cute or embarrassing about the couple.

These speeches take several hours and are intermixed with food being served.  There is no side chit-chat, as all attention must be on whoever has the floor.  Most wedding dinners only have about thirty people in attendance because this part of their day is the most expensive.

The third invitation is sent out for coffee and cakes after dinner.  Extended family members and other friends are invited for this less formal gathering.  The speeches continue into the night, with breaks occasionally to look at the gift table or use the bathroom.  (There are people that open the gifts the minute they arrive and put them on display.)

It’s not uncommon for wedding celebrations to last until the next morning.  No one leaves early and there’s plenty of coffee to keep everyone awake.

The last invitation comes the next day for the “reste selskap” (the rest party) where others gather to eat the “rest” of the leftover cakes.

So if you ever have the honor of being invited to a Norwegian wedding, know you will be giving them more than a material gift.  You will be giving them the gift of your time – and lots of it.

Speeding Tickets

Getting traffic tickets in Norway is nothing like getting them in America.  There is no chit-chat about where someone is going to and did they know how fast they were driving.  There are no extenuating circumstances or good lawyers to help get out of them.  If a driver is speeding, they’re speeding.  A hefty fine will surely follow.

Kory got a speeding ticket in Norway once.  The policeman was crouched down in the tall wild flowers along the roadside with a laser gun.  The police car was not visible from a distance.  The policeman stepped out into the street and motioned us over, then told Kory to sit in the police car.  That was different.  Kory gave him his license and waited for the ticket to be written up.  There was no need to ask for proof of insurance or registration because that’s all automated and the policeman knew it just from our license plate number. 

Kory was given a ticket that looked like all other bills we get in Norway.  It has the account number on where to transfer the money, and how much is due by what date.  There is no court appearance, no second chance. 

The penalty for speeding is on a sliding scale based on which speed zone it occurred in, so if Kory’s speed had been one kilometer less (about half a mile an hour), it would have cost two-thirds the price.  If he’d been going two miles an hour more, it would have cost a third more.  As it was, a ticket going the equivalent of 56mph in a 50 zone cost him 2,600 kroner - over 500 dollars.  We were in shock.

I was complaining about the ticket to a cousin and he said he got a ticket once for going 20mph over the limit and it cost him over 1,500 dollars.   He thought we got off lucky. 

Kory had an option to spend three days in jail rather than pay the fine.  I was in favor of the jail time since I’m the family accountant and knew we had better things to do with the money.  He thought maybe I should spend the time there instead. 

Another cousin got caught once by a speeding camera in a tunnel.  He was going so fast that he was given three weeks mandatory jail time, plus a huge fine and he lost his license for nine months.  He received the ticket in the mail along with the date he was to admit himself to prison. 

As a friend of ours said after Kory got the ticket, “Only drive as fast as you can afford.”  In Norway, that’s certainly the truth.

Misspeaking

Part of the challenge in learning a new language is communicating to someone with a limited vocabulary.  Many times when I’m trying to convey a point, I’ve had to switch over and use an English word in the middle of a Norwegian sentence because I didn’t know the Norwegian equivalent.  Sometimes the English word does sound a little bit like the Norwegian word, so there’s no harm in trying.  Sometimes though, I mix up my words and use the wrong Norwegian word without even knowing I misspoke.

The first time I did this was when we had my husband’s three elderly aunts over for dinner.  We had a wonderful time and I was so proud I could finally communicate with them in Norwegian, since by then I’d been attending Norwegian class for several weeks.  But the problem came when we were saying our goodbyes and what I meant to say was, “You are always welcome back here anytime.”  But the Norwegian words for “always” and “never” sound a little too much alike, and I used the wrong one.  The look on their faces told me I’d messed up. 

Another time I was in an antique store and I asked the elderly woman working there if she bartered.  She answered back that she didn’t speak English.  I thought that was an odd response since I had asked her the question in Norwegian, so I asked her again and she answered the same way.  When we left the store, I told my husband what happened and it was then I found out I’d used the wrong vowel in the word, so instead of saying, “Do you barter?” I actually asked her, “Do you talk?”

I’m in good company though, because there is one famous Norwegian guy that the whole country laughs about for this very reason.  He’s a professional racecar driver and he’s often interviewed by English speaking media.  He’s not very good at English, but he tries, and when he doesn’t know the correct word, he throws in the Norwegian equivalent.  His most classic and much repeated faux-pa came the day he was talking about a particular race and the interviewer asked him something about his “speed,” (which actually is the word “fart” in Norwegian).  The racecar driver meant to answer, “It’s not the speed that will kill you, it’s the crash,” but that’s not what he said because he didn’t know all the right words.  The Norwegian word for “crash” is “smelle” so what he actually said was, “It’s not the fart that will kill you, it’s the smell.”  That story has lingered for years.

The Rest Party

Norwegians make “relaxing” a huge priority in their lives.  They have a couple different terms for it – one is “slapp av” which translated means to “relax” and another is “kose deg” which means “enjoy yourself” (in a cuddly kind of way.)  Each day, it’s important that Norwegians both relax and enjoy themselves.  Those two things actually go hand-in-hand.  I’m honestly surprised they get anything done as there is so much emphasis put on just taking life easy.  Even in the work place, the law states that all employees have a right to be “stress free.”  If an employee feels stressed, it’s justification for taking an extended sick leave where they get paid to then have time to just “slapp av.”  I read a newspaper article not that long ago that said on any given day, over twenty five percent of Norwegians are not at work.

If the sun is shining, Norwegians are enjoying themselves in a lawn chair out on the deck while getting their Vitamin D requirements met. A cup of coffee is also an important part of the “kose deg” experience.  My husband’s cousin met up with us in Florida once because he wanted to go to Disneyworld.  Our schedules were such that we only had two hours together that day, but he still insisted we go.  Once we got through the entrance gates, all he wanted to do was sit down and have a cup of coffee.  That was how he planned to enjoy Disneyworld.  I thought he was nuts, but from what I can tell, many Norwegians are cut from the same mold.  Nothing could be better than just sitting down and enjoying the moment, no matter where they are.

So when we were living in Norway, I got a text message from my friend Kristin, inviting me to a “reste selskap” – a “rest party.”  I’d never heard of such a thing before and had no idea what it meant.  The first thing I thought was that Kristin was going to have a bunch of people over to just relax together.  Then I thought maybe it was something like a Tupperware Party, where we buy things to help us “rest.”  Both ideas seemed possible based on my experience with Norwegians.  Either way, I thought I should go.

I was pleasantly surprised when I showed up at Kristin’s house to see her table covered with fourteen partially eaten cakes.  As I soon found out, Kristin’s daughter was Confirmed the day before, so I and several other friends, were invited over to eat the “rest” of the food from that party.  I enjoyed myself very much.

Hurtigruten

Norwegians are proud of many things in their land, including their coastal ferry system, Hurtigruten.  “Hurtigruten” means “the fast route” because when it started in 1893, it was.  It still is a lifeline for many isolated coastal cities, connecting them to goods, mail, and people.  It didn’t take long before “tourists” were added to that list, as it is rightly advertised as “The World’s Most Beautiful Voyage.” 

Each evening, one of the twelve Hurtigruten ships leaves Bergen, heading north to Kirkenes, the last stop on the line, right next to Russia.  The journey takes nearly six days. Many passengers stow their car below, then take it off in Kirkenes and drive back down through Norway, for a more thorough experience of the landscape and people.  Others opt to stay onboard for another six days for the return voyage south.

Many Norwegians can only dream of taking such a trip because it’s rather expensive, so this past week in Norway, NRK2, a television station, did a live broadcast from one of the Hurtigruten boats – 24 hours a day - port to port to port.  All Norwegians got to virtually experience this epic journey, through their television screen.  Lucky me, my husband insisted we experience it first hand for our twentieth wedding anniversary, even though the first time I went on a cruise, I jumped ship on day two because it just wasn’t my thing.  Truly, he loves me.

Because tourists are such a large part of their customer base, Hurtigruten tries to cater a little to them, but they make sure everyone understands they are (thankfully) not a cruise ship.  When the ferry docks in some of the larger cities, the layovers allow time for short excursions.  Some of them include sightseeing, Artic fishing, eating in a Viking longhouse, dog sledding, bird watching or visiting the North Cape, the farthest point north on the continent.  By staying on board for the return voyage, everyone is assured of seeing each and every port along the entire coastline, because Hurtigruten stops in the night on the way south, where they stopped during the day, on the way north.  So unless there is rain or low clouds, it’s possible to not miss a thing, especially in the summer when the sun never sets.

Cruise ships have to travel further off the coastline, but Hurtigruten takes the inside passage.  It’s always sandwiched between the mainland and the outer islands, so it’s smooth sailing and breathtaking views the entire trip.  The food is five star and the cabins quite comfortable.  It’s a wonderful experience for those, like my husband, who love to do nothing more than sit with a cup of coffee and watch the world pass by. I’m not that type, however, but I wasn’t the least bit disappointed.

Grocery Stores

The most noticeable difference between grocery stores in Norway versus those in America, is the price of the food.  Norwegian groceries cost about three times more than what I’m used to paying.  After living there awhile, I stopped looking at prices.  I couldn’t bear to pay over seven dollars for lettuce, only to discover half of it inedible.  Produce isn’t the freshest in the far north, and Norwegians don’t eat much of it.  They do like frozen pizza, though.  There’s at least one pizza aisle in every store.

The opening hours of grocery stores are finally expanding.  Ten years ago they opened only 10-5 weekdays, until three on Saturdays, and closed Sunday.  Now some have extended hours so the lit-up signs on their buildings say 9-21 (10-18), which means they are open 9am-9pm, Monday to Friday and 10am-6pm on Saturday.  It took me a while to figure out that code.

I asked my mother-in-law once if she ever missed living in Norway and her only reason was, “No!  In America, you can go to the grocery store anytime you want!”  Apparently it was quite the thrill for her to no longer plan her days around the store’s opening hours.  I now understand.

Grocery stores in Norway don’t use coupons, but they do have sales.  Products sell out quickly though, and there are no rain checks, so arriving early is essential.  Store employees don’t work the night shift, so when I’d go shopping right after they opened, I’d have to make my way around racks of food waiting to be shelved, or step over pallets of merchandise.  Customer convenience or safety isn’t an issue.

Customers have to bag their own groceries which makes standing in line an opportunity to practice patience.  They also charge about twenty cents for every bag used.  I brought my own.  And there is a ten kroner deposit ($2) to use the shopping cart, which is returned from the little slot on the handle only when the cart is put back in its proper place and attached to all the other carts.  Luckily, I discovered an American quarter is the same size as the ten kroner coin. Sometimes I’d insert a quarter to use the cart and then not bother to return it to its proper place, leaving the quarter behind.  It was an act of rebellion I could afford.

One of the many stores I used has a member’s card that offers a one percent rebate.  I was shocked after we’d lived in Norway for a year, to discover my refund balance was almost $200, which meant, in that year alone, I’d spent nearly $20,000 on groceries there.  I’m thinking for that kind of cash outlay, members should get bags and carts for free.

The State Church

I’m sure when the State Church of Norway began, their intentions were good.  Unfortunately, they got their start from “Holy Ole,” the Viking king that found God on a raid down in England.  Ole was brutal though and “introduced” Christianity to Norway by killing all those who wouldn’t give up their pagan ways.  History says he didn’t exactly give up his Viking ways, though, since he often used horrific measures to make his point.  Burning at the stake, slicing off heads, or putting poisonous snakes down the throats of those who wouldn’t convert, was the norm.  He was determined, but unfortunately, mislead, in what it means to be a follower of Christ.

When the Viking days came to an end, the State Church began.  Our modern day Lutherans came out of the State Churches of Scandinavia.

The Viking kings used to own all the land in Norway, but then the Church got it all.  For nearly a thousand years, Norwegians bought their land and paid their taxes to the Church.  The State Church was the government of Norway.  Even today, the King of Norway is the head of the State Church, but they also now have a Prime Minister that runs the political side of things.

The Church has dictated what a person can do and when they can do it for centuries.  The meaning of Christianity got lost in there somewhere, as the Church devised more and more of it’s own laws and forgot the only important ones from God – to love and to forgive. 

In the late 1800s, some radicals formed the Free Church.  They wanted to be free from all the legalism and dictated rules and just follow what the Bible says.  It was scandalous.  It broke families apart and created quite the stir throughout the land.  Then in the early 1900s the Pentecostal movement arrived and that was even worse.  It was considered devil worship.  My own father-in-law lost his inheritance when he joined the Pentecostal Church, because he dared to believe there was life-changing power in the Trinity.  His parents disowned him because of it.

For the most part, the State Church today is watered down, routine, and boring.   Mandatory church attendance is no more, so very few Norwegians attend any church at all.  Some priests in the State Church don’t even call themselves Christians.  It’s just a job, paid for by tax dollars. 

We lived next to a State Church, and from what I could tell, their greatest function is to perform funerals – sometimes three a day.  I think it’s rather fitting, since the Church itself, sadly, seems to be rather dead.

Inheritance

Many inheritance laws in Norway date back to Viking times.  They are sacred and impossible to change, but some are trying.

A huge issue with inheritance has to do with the family farm.  The farm always went to the eldest son, or daughter, if there were no sons.  There are no property taxes in Norway so inheriting a chunk of land with many buildings hasn’t been a burden to anyone, except for the younger siblings, who get nothing.  Siblings get a portion of other assets, but the farm itself can’t be divided among them.  A recent change, however, now allows the oldest child, male or female, to get the farm. 

I know of a woman whose been taunting her siblings with the fact she gets the farm when their mother dies.  Once she’s the owner, she plans on dividing up the farm and selling off pieces for cabin lots, which strangely, she’s allowed to do.  She brags about how rich she’ll become by doing this.  It’s caused such a disturbance in their family that her mother has lawyers trying to stop her from inheriting the farm, but it requires changing this very ancient law. The case is going before Norway’s version of the Supreme Court, but no one believes anything will change. 

Another law that can’t be ignored is that no one is allowed to disinherit their children or spouse.  The law governs who gets what, so very few people have a will, since it wouldn’t make much difference.  The children share in two thirds of the assets and the spouse gets one third, but the spouse is allowed to live in the house until it’s no longer needed, if it was not jointly owned to begin with. 

Norway does not have community property. Everyone has their own assets.  It’s uncommon to own things jointly, so each person’s assets are distributed according to their survivors.  If they have no spouse or children, their money goes to their next of kin - even if it’s their cousin that moved to America fifty years ago - because if they don’t find some surviving relative, the government takes it all.  Nice backup plan.

An elderly woman we know has been living with her “man” for thirty years.  They were both widowed and had children from previous marriages.  She has significantly more assets than him.  They figured it wouldn’t be fair to her children if they got married, because her kids would lose one third of their inheritance.  So they traveled to the Canary Islands, found an empty church up in the mountains and exchanged vows and rings in the sight of God.   They wanted Him to be part of their relationship, but because of Norway’s inheritance laws, they needed to keep the government out.

Russ

While it’s customary in America for parents to have a little party where friends and family give gifts to their kids when they graduate from high school, it’s not the case in Norway.  The party and gifts happen at Confirmation time, when the kids are in 8^th grade.  By the time they finish high school, they are 19, and I’m not sure they even get a “congratulations” out of the deal.

But Norwegians are a clever bunch, and their high school graduates have figured out their own special way to celebrate their accomplishments – with something called “Russ” (pronounced “roose.”)

Russ has been going on for centuries, but I’m sure it’s changed quite a bit over the years. From the first of May until the 17^th, all “seniors” identify themselves as such by wearing bright red bib-overalls, which they aren’t allowed to wash or take off (except to sleep) the entire time.  The overalls have all kinds of decals on them, including their name, the year, and various slogans.  They are like walking billboards, and hard to miss.

For kids who can afford it, they pool their money and buy a Russbil (a mini van that’s been painted red).  They paint the names of all the owners on the van and drive it all over town during those 17 days.  They often attach loud speakers or strobe lights.  Again, hard to miss.

The soon-to-be graduates party every night during Russ.  Each graduating class makes up their own challenges (think “prank”) and the kids go about during those Russ days, trying to accomplish them.  They are often illegal, dangerous, rude and/or crude.  They get appropriate tokens that attach to the tassel on their cap for each task achieved.  Their cap is worn only on the final day of Russ, which they proudly display during the 17^th of May parade.

One evening I was walking on the sidewalk and a Russbil went by and someone threw a water balloon at me.  They didn’t achieve that challenge because they missed me, but that’s on the mild side of the kinds of things they do.  A lot of the challenges have to do with public nudity, sex and drinking.  Again, hard to miss.

Russ kids also make up their own bright red business cards with a crazy picture of themselves on it and some kind of quote, often very raunchy.  They trade them among themselves but it’s also become a huge craze for younger kids to collect them, like American kids used to collect baseball cards.   But with the crude slogans on them, parents aren’t too thrilled with this whole Russ tradition.  Perhaps that’s why, when they graduate, they don’t get a thing.

Confirmation

Historically, Confirmation in Norway was a special year-long course of study that 14 year olds went through to complete their Christian upbringing.  It “confirms” they have been baptized and are officially a child of God.  But like many things in Norway, the times they are a-changin’. 

Not that long ago, Confirmation took an enormous amount of time to accomplish all the memorization work required, from the Bible as well as other sources.  It was serious business.  If the Priest asked a kid one of the many questions they must know the answer to, and they were unable to answer it, they could not be Confirmed until they completed another year of study and answered correctly. A party afterwards was certainly in order to celebrate such an accomplishment. 

As the years went on, the party following the Confirmation ceremony became the main focus.  It was no longer just about food and fellowship, it was more about the gifts the child received for their efforts.  Now that Norway is an incredibly wealthy nation, most of those gifts are Norwegian kroner (money).  It’s the norm for Confirmants to be the recipient of thousands of kroner.  Most of these young teenagers receive the equivalent of two to three thousand dollars, but upwards of six thousand isn’t unheard of.

Because of this incredible infusion of cash, no one wants to miss out on this “coming of age” party, which is more like what Confirmation has become in Norway since it’s Christian roots are quickly going by the way-side.  It’s sad to me they still call it “Confirmation” though because it’s supposed to confirm they have a relationship with the God Almighty, but it no longer does.  The process of being confirmed, even in the State Church, has just become a time of fun and games, with occasional lectures, but no serious Bible study or memory work required.  Everyone passes, as the requirements are very accommodating to a child’s busy life.  They only have to attend church eight times in the course of a year, for example.

Today in Norway, every teenager chooses be confirmed, even if they don’t believe in God, because they don’t want to miss out on the party.  For those who have an aversion to going to church, they now have the option to take a secular “humanitarian” course of study, which takes Christianity and God out of the process altogether.

My 12-year-old son asked if we could move to Norway for another year when he is 14 so he can go through Confirmation there.  I haven’t answered him.  In my opinion, it’s a very sad time in Norway because it appears that Confirmation now just confirms that for most young people, like many adults, their god is money.