Drunk Drivers

Random traffic stops by the police in Norway are common.  They set up road blocks and check every car that passes by for things like bald tires and other safety issues, unbelted passengers, people talking on cell phones and drunk drivers.  Norwegian officials don’t mess around when it comes to driving drunk.  They have zero tolerance for it and the consequences are so severe, very few people ever do it.

Norway has the strictest laws in Europe on drunk driving.  The legal limit is 0.1%, which isn’t much.  A spoonful of cough syrup might push one into the illegal zone.

Whenever we have been to a dinner party, or hosted one, there is always a designated driver and that person won’t even touch their lips to alcohol the entire evening.  When we’ve been out to a restaurant and everyone’s had a drink or two, we either take a taxi home or have someone come get us. Some people will walk an hour home even if they’ve had just one drink, because no one ever wants to run the risk of getting caught.  There is mandatory jail time involved plus loss of driver’s license and a huge fine which is on a sliding scale and usually the equivalent to a month and a half’s salary times how many points over 0.1% a person is.

There is no plea bargaining or getting a good lawyer to help out in drunk driving cases, so if a person gets caught, they are guilty.  The consequences are swift and steep.  (America has a thing or two to learn about handling drunk drivers in that regard.)

One guy I read about, the son of a rich ship builder, got caught in a random road side stop with a 0.9% alcohol level.  He had to pay about $130,000 for his drunk driving ticket, spend three weeks in jail and he lost his license for over two years.  When stuff like this makes the headlines, people understand that zero tolerance means zero tolerance no matter who you are.  The law states if he gets caught driving drunk again within five years, he’ll lose his license for life.  They don’t mess around.

I also read about a woman that got caught in a random stop with alcohol on her breath.  She spent thirty days in prison chopping wood, she lost her license for three years, had to go to rehab, and her fine was the equivalent of about $78,000.  Her blood alcohol level was 0.7%, which in Washington State, isn’t even illegal.

Prayers and Peace for Norway, please.

I'm sad beyond words.  It's like an innocent child being molested.  Norway may never be the same.

Weddings

In Norway, there are four types of invitations that go out for weddings.  The first is a newspaper announcement which serves as an invitation for any and all who want to attend, to come on by the church and watch the bride and groom become man and wife.  No need to RSVP.  If the church gets full, the pews get cozier.  And there is no obligation to bring a gift, as there’s a good chance no one even knew you were there.

Norwegian weddings look like American ones with a few exceptions. There are chairs at the front of the church with the bride and maid of honor on one side facing the groom and best man on the other.  There are no other attendants.  Songs are sung, candles lit, the priest talks and prays.  When the time comes to exchange vows, the couple briefly stands up.  The maid of honor moves over and for the remainder of the ceremony, the wedding couple sit side-by-side.  It’s difficult to see what’s going on with everyone sitting, but Norwegians appreciate the ability to relax, even on their special day.

Prior to the wedding, immediate family and close friends get an invitation to attend the formal dinner after the ceremony.  And I mean formal.  There are place names, seating charts, a master of ceremonies, speeches and a schedule.  Everyone in attendance is expected to give a speech, read a poem they have written, or sing a song.  It’s common to take a familiar tune and rewrite the words telling something cute or embarrassing about the couple.

These speeches take several hours and are intermixed with food being served.  There is no side chit-chat, as all attention must be on whoever has the floor.  Most wedding dinners only have about thirty people in attendance because this part of their day is the most expensive.

The third invitation is sent out for coffee and cakes after dinner.  Extended family members and other friends are invited for this less formal gathering.  The speeches continue into the night, with breaks occasionally to look at the gift table or use the bathroom.  (There are people that open the gifts the minute they arrive and put them on display.)

It’s not uncommon for wedding celebrations to last until the next morning.  No one leaves early and there’s plenty of coffee to keep everyone awake.

The last invitation comes the next day for the “reste selskap” (the rest party) where others gather to eat the “rest” of the leftover cakes.

So if you ever have the honor of being invited to a Norwegian wedding, know you will be giving them more than a material gift.  You will be giving them the gift of your time – and lots of it.

Speeding Tickets

Getting traffic tickets in Norway is nothing like getting them in America.  There is no chit-chat about where someone is going to and did they know how fast they were driving.  There are no extenuating circumstances or good lawyers to help get out of them.  If a driver is speeding, they’re speeding.  A hefty fine will surely follow.

Kory got a speeding ticket in Norway once.  The policeman was crouched down in the tall wild flowers along the roadside with a laser gun.  The police car was not visible from a distance.  The policeman stepped out into the street and motioned us over, then told Kory to sit in the police car.  That was different.  Kory gave him his license and waited for the ticket to be written up.  There was no need to ask for proof of insurance or registration because that’s all automated and the policeman knew it just from our license plate number. 

Kory was given a ticket that looked like all other bills we get in Norway.  It has the account number on where to transfer the money, and how much is due by what date.  There is no court appearance, no second chance. 

The penalty for speeding is on a sliding scale based on which speed zone it occurred in, so if Kory’s speed had been one kilometer less (about half a mile an hour), it would have cost two-thirds the price.  If he’d been going two miles an hour more, it would have cost a third more.  As it was, a ticket going the equivalent of 56mph in a 50 zone cost him 2,600 kroner - over 500 dollars.  We were in shock.

I was complaining about the ticket to a cousin and he said he got a ticket once for going 20mph over the limit and it cost him over 1,500 dollars.   He thought we got off lucky. 

Kory had an option to spend three days in jail rather than pay the fine.  I was in favor of the jail time since I’m the family accountant and knew we had better things to do with the money.  He thought maybe I should spend the time there instead. 

Another cousin got caught once by a speeding camera in a tunnel.  He was going so fast that he was given three weeks mandatory jail time, plus a huge fine and he lost his license for nine months.  He received the ticket in the mail along with the date he was to admit himself to prison. 

As a friend of ours said after Kory got the ticket, “Only drive as fast as you can afford.”  In Norway, that’s certainly the truth.

Misspeaking

Part of the challenge in learning a new language is communicating to someone with a limited vocabulary.  Many times when I’m trying to convey a point, I’ve had to switch over and use an English word in the middle of a Norwegian sentence because I didn’t know the Norwegian equivalent.  Sometimes the English word does sound a little bit like the Norwegian word, so there’s no harm in trying.  Sometimes though, I mix up my words and use the wrong Norwegian word without even knowing I misspoke.

The first time I did this was when we had my husband’s three elderly aunts over for dinner.  We had a wonderful time and I was so proud I could finally communicate with them in Norwegian, since by then I’d been attending Norwegian class for several weeks.  But the problem came when we were saying our goodbyes and what I meant to say was, “You are always welcome back here anytime.”  But the Norwegian words for “always” and “never” sound a little too much alike, and I used the wrong one.  The look on their faces told me I’d messed up. 

Another time I was in an antique store and I asked the elderly woman working there if she bartered.  She answered back that she didn’t speak English.  I thought that was an odd response since I had asked her the question in Norwegian, so I asked her again and she answered the same way.  When we left the store, I told my husband what happened and it was then I found out I’d used the wrong vowel in the word, so instead of saying, “Do you barter?” I actually asked her, “Do you talk?”

I’m in good company though, because there is one famous Norwegian guy that the whole country laughs about for this very reason.  He’s a professional racecar driver and he’s often interviewed by English speaking media.  He’s not very good at English, but he tries, and when he doesn’t know the correct word, he throws in the Norwegian equivalent.  His most classic and much repeated faux-pa came the day he was talking about a particular race and the interviewer asked him something about his “speed,” (which actually is the word “fart” in Norwegian).  The racecar driver meant to answer, “It’s not the speed that will kill you, it’s the crash,” but that’s not what he said because he didn’t know all the right words.  The Norwegian word for “crash” is “smelle” so what he actually said was, “It’s not the fart that will kill you, it’s the smell.”  That story has lingered for years.

The Rest Party

Norwegians make “relaxing” a huge priority in their lives.  They have a couple different terms for it – one is “slapp av” which translated means to “relax” and another is “kose deg” which means “enjoy yourself” (in a cuddly kind of way.)  Each day, it’s important that Norwegians both relax and enjoy themselves.  Those two things actually go hand-in-hand.  I’m honestly surprised they get anything done as there is so much emphasis put on just taking life easy.  Even in the work place, the law states that all employees have a right to be “stress free.”  If an employee feels stressed, it’s justification for taking an extended sick leave where they get paid to then have time to just “slapp av.”  I read a newspaper article not that long ago that said on any given day, over twenty five percent of Norwegians are not at work.

If the sun is shining, Norwegians are enjoying themselves in a lawn chair out on the deck while getting their Vitamin D requirements met. A cup of coffee is also an important part of the “kose deg” experience.  My husband’s cousin met up with us in Florida once because he wanted to go to Disneyworld.  Our schedules were such that we only had two hours together that day, but he still insisted we go.  Once we got through the entrance gates, all he wanted to do was sit down and have a cup of coffee.  That was how he planned to enjoy Disneyworld.  I thought he was nuts, but from what I can tell, many Norwegians are cut from the same mold.  Nothing could be better than just sitting down and enjoying the moment, no matter where they are.

So when we were living in Norway, I got a text message from my friend Kristin, inviting me to a “reste selskap” – a “rest party.”  I’d never heard of such a thing before and had no idea what it meant.  The first thing I thought was that Kristin was going to have a bunch of people over to just relax together.  Then I thought maybe it was something like a Tupperware Party, where we buy things to help us “rest.”  Both ideas seemed possible based on my experience with Norwegians.  Either way, I thought I should go.

I was pleasantly surprised when I showed up at Kristin’s house to see her table covered with fourteen partially eaten cakes.  As I soon found out, Kristin’s daughter was Confirmed the day before, so I and several other friends, were invited over to eat the “rest” of the food from that party.  I enjoyed myself very much.