ADHD

The year we lived in Norway, our son, Kaleb, was in the 4^th grade.  The only part of school he didn’t enjoy was getting pounded on regularly by Markus.  Markus wasn’t really a bully, but had what his mother called “impulse control problems.” We’d call it ADHD, and my son’s classmates called it “a bad excuse.”

I talked to the teacher and Markus’ mother about this and finally the school principal, after Markus came at Kaleb’s throat with open scissors one day.  I thought that was a bit much. Something more than a good “talking to” needed to be done. I suggested maybe Markus could stay inside during the next recess if he attacked my kid again because the stern “talking to’s” were apparently not very effective.  The principal just shook his head in disagreement, because in Norway, they pride themselves on treating everyone the same, and if Markus were kept inside, he would feel ostracized and different, and that’s just not how things play out in socialized Norway.

Eventually, their solution was to have a parent/teacher meeting.   All the parents showed up to hear a long lecture from Markus’s psychiatrist about the problems he has in day-to-day life.  We were shown a video explaining how ADHD affects the child and their family and we were told that this is a sad and difficult situation, but the Norwegian government doesn’t like to drug kids up for this type of behavior unless there are no other options and the kids show no sign of improving.  It had already been years, and they were still evaluating him, all the while the other kids were getting pummeled with rocks and fists waiting for a firm medical diagnosis that would bring them some relief.  It was clear our job was to convince our children they should be glad they don’t have ADHD and to please be kind to Markus because he has a right to a normal life, too.

When all was said and done, they asked if anyone had questions and not a single hand went up, even though everyone’s kids had been attacked by Markus.  Finally, my husband said, “I understand you’re trying to get us to sympathize with Markus’s rights, but doesn’t my son have a right to attend school without getting beat up every day?”  Silence.  There was no answer because they didn’t expect that question. 

Later, several parents who’d been afraid to voice their concerns, told Kory they were glad he spoke up because in Norway, no one ever does.  Socialism breeds silence because no one wants to stand out.

The whole experience just left the entire 4^th grade class wishing they too could be labeled ADHD so they could smack Markus back.