Children’s birthday parties are a little different in Norway
than they are in America. For one thing,
they don’t have the option on who to invite.
It’s customary, and mandatory, that elementary school children invite everyone
in their class with the same gender as they are. It’s okay to invite a few other friends
outside their schoolmates, but it’s never ok to leave anyone out.
When my son was in 4th grade, there was a
particular boy that inevitably would punch out a few kids and leave the girls
in tears. Many dreaded attending parties
just because of him, but it’s all part of the socializing that Norway emphasizes
– learning to deal with difficult people.
The party itself, if done the Norwegian way, consists of a
one or two hour block of time where the children all show up precisely on time,
eat pizza or hot dogs, cake and ice cream and then sit in a circle and play
Spin the Bottle. Wherever the bottlenose
lands is when that guests hands over the “gift.”
The “gift” is always just an envelop with money in it. The Norwegians are so practical that they
have long ago abandoned the idea of buying or giving materialist things. Cash is the norm. The more you like the kid, the more you
give. The smallest paper money is 50 kroner,
which is about $8. Most kids give a
hundred kroner, but good friends would give 200. Birthday cards are rare, just cash in an
envelope is all that’s expected.
It reminds me a little of the Christmas savings accounts
that banks used to offer in America. By
putting away a little money each month, by the time Christmas rolls around,
there’s a wad of cash to spend. With
this Norwegian system, each child gives money throughout the year to all their
classmates, and then when their birthday comes around, they get it all back to
spend on what they want. It’s as
impersonal as it can get.
The rest of the party might consist of watching TV or just hanging
out. There are no organized activities
or other games. It’s a rare party that
involves any kind of theme or activity.
When the kids reach junior high age, they are required to
invite both genders to their party, but it’s pretty much the same agenda,
without the thrill of Spin the Bottle.
As each kid arrives, they just hand over the cash, shake the hand of the
birthday person and say “Gratulere med
dagen” which literally means “congratulations on the day” but is the phrase
that’s used for “Happy birthday.”
It all seems a bit dull to me, so someone needs to introduce
them to the American version of Spin the Bottle. Or, maybe not.
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