Weddings

In Norway, there are four types of invitations that go out for weddings.  The first is a newspaper announcement which serves as an invitation for any and all who want to attend, to come on by the church and watch the bride and groom become man and wife.  No need to RSVP.  If the church gets full, the pews get cozier.  And there is no obligation to bring a gift, as there’s a good chance no one even knew you were there.

Norwegian weddings look like American ones with a few exceptions. There are chairs at the front of the church with the bride and maid of honor on one side facing the groom and best man on the other.  There are no other attendants.  Songs are sung, candles lit, the priest talks and prays.  When the time comes to exchange vows, the couple briefly stands up.  The maid of honor moves over and for the remainder of the ceremony, the wedding couple sit side-by-side.  It’s difficult to see what’s going on with everyone sitting, but Norwegians appreciate the ability to relax, even on their special day.

Prior to the wedding, immediate family and close friends get an invitation to attend the formal dinner after the ceremony.  And I mean formal.  There are place names, seating charts, a master of ceremonies, speeches and a schedule.  Everyone in attendance is expected to give a speech, read a poem they have written, or sing a song.  It’s common to take a familiar tune and rewrite the words telling something cute or embarrassing about the couple.

These speeches take several hours and are intermixed with food being served.  There is no side chit-chat, as all attention must be on whoever has the floor.  Most wedding dinners only have about thirty people in attendance because this part of their day is the most expensive.

The third invitation is sent out for coffee and cakes after dinner.  Extended family members and other friends are invited for this less formal gathering.  The speeches continue into the night, with breaks occasionally to look at the gift table or use the bathroom.  (There are people that open the gifts the minute they arrive and put them on display.)

It’s not uncommon for wedding celebrations to last until the next morning.  No one leaves early and there’s plenty of coffee to keep everyone awake.

The last invitation comes the next day for the “reste selskap” (the rest party) where others gather to eat the “rest” of the leftover cakes.

So if you ever have the honor of being invited to a Norwegian wedding, know you will be giving them more than a material gift.  You will be giving them the gift of your time – and lots of it.