Marriage

Marriage among native Norwegians is in rapid decline.  It is far more common for couples to live together and have a few kids, but never make the ultimate commitment.  Norwegian law recognizes “samboer” (living together) relationships nearly the same as legally married couples, so for those who don’t have any religious reasons to get married, they just don’t.  That would be the bulk of Norwegians.  For the ones that do take the plunge, half of them still end in divorce.

When I called the mother of my son’s friend to talk about our boys getting together, she told me they are “a modern family” and that her son was with his father so I needed to talk to him.  My idea of a “modern family” is one in which every member has the latest in electronic communication devices, but I’m pretty sure she was referring to their relationship status and that they’d never been married so she couldn’t exactly say she was divorced.

Many unmarried couples that have kids, a decade later, may consider marriage, mostly for tax benefits.  About half the wedding announcements in the newspaper show the bride and groom flanked by their half grown children in the photo.  It cracks me up every time, but it’s still a little sad.

Most marriages involving Norwegians today are between a native and a foreigner, since that’s one of the few ways foreigners are allowed to stay in the country.  My Norwegian class was full of newlyweds.

One day in class we all had to say something we love to do.  All the foreign women married to Norwegians love to cook.  For years, Norway has been considered the most “feminist” country in the world.  They are top-notch when it comes to women’s rights and equal pay.  Even our school literature tells all about how Lars stays home with the baby, prepares dinner and cleans house, while Kari goes off to work.  Based on the incredible amount of ready-made food in grocery stores, I can tell cooking from scratch is in decline, too. 

When I heard that all these new brides LOVE to cook, I wasn’t surprised.  The more “traditional” men have been leaving Norway in search of a wife who doesn’t expect equality. Thailand seems to be the most popular place to find one.  It’s become a national phenomenon that’s similar to a mail order bride system where men meet Thai women on the internet, fly over, marry them, and bring them back. 

Based on how poorly some of the women spoke English, and that is the only language they have in common with their husbands, it’s obvious they didn’t get married because they are sparkling conversationalists.  I’m sure their culinary skills aren’t everything, either.