Filing Taxes

Norway makes filing tax returns fairly painless, which is good because paying Norwegian taxes is painful.  The average Norwegian pays 45% of their income in taxes.  Since no one can do anything without using Norway’s version of a Social Security number, the government knows every financial move that is made by their tax payers. The banks and businesses have to report their dealings in great detail, so the Norwegian version of the IRS sends out everyone’s tax returns pre-done.  They know everyone’s income, how much interest was paid, how much profit was made off the stock market or the sale of a house – it’s all well documented financial information.  If there are no corrections to be made to the government’s version of the return, that’s it - not even a signature is required – it’s done. Everyone pays the amount of tax due, or waits for their refund to show up in their bank account – because the government knows that information, too.  So, if the amount owed isn’t paid – the government is happy to extract it.

Even the eight kroner ($1.50) we were paid in interest (from a food co-op) was documented on our pre-done tax return.  They don’t miss a thing.  The returns are very streamlined, and not nearly as complicated as America’s.  Even still, if someone needs help, every community has a place people can go, take a number, sit down and read a magazine while waiting their turn. When their number is called, they take their receipts and questions and go into an office where the agent fills out the forms and answers the questions – for free. 

Each individual must file their own tax return – there’s no such thing as “married filing joint.”  Everyone in Norway has their own bank account, too, because they don’t allow co-ownership.

One of the biggest differences in tax deductions deals with charitable contributions, which are limited to $2,000 a year.  A fraction of a percent of taxes paid by every person in Norway goes to the State Church, unless a form is sent in that requests their portion of that tax money to go to a different church.  All churches in Norway get the bulk of their operating expenses from the government, through this system, so individual contributions from parishioners aren’t nearly as critical as in the U.S.  When we lived in Norway, we attended two different churches and gave money to them both, but only the money given to the church we filled out the form for, was deductible.

The good news about Norwegian taxes is that the first 40,000 kroner (about $8,000) isn’t taxed at all. So, if someone could figure out how to live in Norway for under $8,000 a year, they’d have it made.

Easter Break Begins!

Norwegians don’t like to stand out or be different.  They take great pride in following traditions and fitting in.  Some traditions aren’t even understood - people just do them because everyone else does.  Easter includes some of the strangest traditions I’ve seen.   

The week before Easter, all schools are closed and many people take that week off.  Even stores are only open a few hours each day, and not at all on Thursday or Friday before Easter, or the Monday after, which are holidays.

About 40% of Norwegians own a cabin, so that’s where they head for Easter break.  The other 60% join them.  It’s a sure bet there is snow in the mountains, so much cross country skiing is done that week.  To keep with Easter traditions, everyone out hiking or skiing absolutely MUST have two food items along with them every day – an orange and Norway’s version of the Kit Kat bar, called a Kwik Lunsj, (pronounced “quick lunch.”)  There are big sales on oranges and Kwik Lunsj prior to Easter and people buy them by the cart full.  That’s basically what they eat all week.

For the last hundred years or so, there has also been the tradition of reading crime novels.  I still haven’t figured out how crime novels have worked into the Easter traditions of Norway, but the entire country devours one after another during that week – and at no other time during the year.  The books stores go crazy with promoting all the new novels that get released just for Easter.

One of the weirdest “traditions” about Easter in Norway, however, is that many churches are actually CLOSED on Easter Sunday because so many people have gone up to the mountains.  When we lived in Norway, we dressed in our finest Easter attire and made sure to arrive early to get a good seat, knowing how churches in America see a spike in attendance at Easter and Christmas, but we were totally shocked to find the church doors locked and no one around.  We went down the street to another church, confounded by the mystery of it all, and discovered very few people in attendance and no one dressed in frilly dresses or their finest suits.

After church, as I was preparing our big Easter dinner, I saw a neighbor girl riding her bike, so I hollered out to her “Happy Easter!” She looked at me rather oddly and shouted back, “That was yesterday!”  It was then I found out another tradition in Norway - Easter dinner and related celebrations happen on Easter Eve. 

It’s odd that Easter is the celebration of the resurrection of Christ, but Norwegians celebrate it while he’s still in the grave.  Maybe that’s where the crime novels come into play.

Foreigners

Twenty years ago, Norway was fairly homogeneous, but today, it’s looking more like the melting pot we call America.  Over 20 percent of Oslo’s population is made up of foreigners.

Because Norway’s economy is strong, they have jobs.  Many people from the Eastern Block come to do the work Norwegians feel is below them.  Nearly every woman in my Norwegian class had a job as a cleaner.  One cleaned a slaughterhouse, another cleaned ferries, one cleaned hotels, another cleaned at the hospital and My Pal Vestina cleaned fish.  I’m sure Norway wouldn’t be as clean as it is, if it weren’t for the foreigners.  If someone doesn’t speak Norwegian, cleaning is about the best job they can hope for.

There are other foreigners populating Norway these days too, many from the Arab nations.  Some have come as refugees because America was bombing their homeland, but prejudice runs deep against Muslims, so they have a hard time even finding a cleaning job. Most don’t work, but they still live well off welfare.

It didn’t take long for word to spread about how generous Norway’s socialized systems are, so even if someone isn’t inclined to work for a living, many foreigners have figured out how to get their foot in the door and benefit from all the handouts. 

There’s been an epidemic of Arab men marrying Norwegian women that aren’t very “desirable” either because they’re not very attractive, or they have some developmental problem.  They have a predictable routine wherein they start going to church, meet a woman, treat her like a queen, then quickly convince her to get married without telling her family.  After three years of being married they can become permanent Norwegian citizens with full benefits.  So, after three years, they get a divorce and then often return to their own country to bring back the real love of their life, who can now also become a Norwegian citizen.  It happens time and time again and it even happened to one of Kory’s relatives who was slightly brain damaged at birth.  It was so sad to watch it play out, as everyone knew how and when it would end.  And it did, right on schedule.

We had one Arab guy in our Norwegian class.  One day our substitute teacher made it clear she was fully aware of his “agenda.”  She was teaching us about pronouns, and she asked this guy if he was married to a Norwegian.  He said he was, so she wrote on the board, “Hans kone er norsk.” (His wife is Norwegian.)  Then she wrote, “Han liker hun.” (“He likes her.”)  But as soon as she wrote it, she said under her breath, “I sure hope so.” 

Marriage

Marriage among native Norwegians is in rapid decline.  It is far more common for couples to live together and have a few kids, but never make the ultimate commitment.  Norwegian law recognizes “samboer” (living together) relationships nearly the same as legally married couples, so for those who don’t have any religious reasons to get married, they just don’t.  That would be the bulk of Norwegians.  For the ones that do take the plunge, half of them still end in divorce.

When I called the mother of my son’s friend to talk about our boys getting together, she told me they are “a modern family” and that her son was with his father so I needed to talk to him.  My idea of a “modern family” is one in which every member has the latest in electronic communication devices, but I’m pretty sure she was referring to their relationship status and that they’d never been married so she couldn’t exactly say she was divorced.

Many unmarried couples that have kids, a decade later, may consider marriage, mostly for tax benefits.  About half the wedding announcements in the newspaper show the bride and groom flanked by their half grown children in the photo.  It cracks me up every time, but it’s still a little sad.

Most marriages involving Norwegians today are between a native and a foreigner, since that’s one of the few ways foreigners are allowed to stay in the country.  My Norwegian class was full of newlyweds.

One day in class we all had to say something we love to do.  All the foreign women married to Norwegians love to cook.  For years, Norway has been considered the most “feminist” country in the world.  They are top-notch when it comes to women’s rights and equal pay.  Even our school literature tells all about how Lars stays home with the baby, prepares dinner and cleans house, while Kari goes off to work.  Based on the incredible amount of ready-made food in grocery stores, I can tell cooking from scratch is in decline, too. 

When I heard that all these new brides LOVE to cook, I wasn’t surprised.  The more “traditional” men have been leaving Norway in search of a wife who doesn’t expect equality. Thailand seems to be the most popular place to find one.  It’s become a national phenomenon that’s similar to a mail order bride system where men meet Thai women on the internet, fly over, marry them, and bring them back. 

Based on how poorly some of the women spoke English, and that is the only language they have in common with their husbands, it’s obvious they didn’t get married because they are sparkling conversationalists.  I’m sure their culinary skills aren’t everything, either.