The Morten Report

My son, Kaleb, was often a “big hit” at school in Norway, literally. A boy in his class named Morten, found Kaleb’s sweet face irresistible, so he often punched it for the oddest reasons. One time it was because Kaleb had parked his bike next to his, another time because he was standing behind him in line. When Kaleb came home from school each day, I always asked him about “The Morten Report,” as it came to be known.




The day Kaleb told me Morten came at his throat with a pair of open scissors, was the day I decided the “zero tolerance” policy they have for bullying at school (with no consequences if they do), was just not enough. I made an appointment to talk with the principal to tell him just how we deal with such things in America. It fell on deaf ears. When I suggested a consequence like having Morten stay inside during the next recess after he punched or kicked or threw rocks at my sweet boy, the principal kindly thanked me for my suggestion, then told me why it wouldn’t work. In Norway, everyone is treated the same, and if Morten were singled out and punished for his behavior, he would feel different, and that is just not part of the Norwegian socializing system.



When I talked to Morten’s mother about the scissors-to-the-throat incident, she apologized, but I noticed that Morten wasn’t even kept from attending another kid’s birthday party that evening. If my son had attacked another kid with scissors at school that day, I’m certain he wouldn’t be at a birthday party that evening. Morten’s mother didn’t want him to feel left out, so she wouldn’t ever consider using that as a consequence for his “impulse control problem,” as she called it.



One day when Kaleb had been beaten up by three different kids on the playground, he cried as he recounted the events to me. I told him I thought maybe we should just go back to America because we didn’t move to Norway to have him become a punching bag, and we were free to leave at any time. Kaleb replied, “Hey, there are a hundred kids in the fourth grade, and there are only three of them that are a problem. Do you think I’m going to let those three kids ruin it for the other ninety seven that like me? I don’t want to go back home just because I get beat up!”



I was quite proud of Kaleb for tolerating Norway’s “zero tolerance” policy on bullying.