Impressions

We just finished hosting a family of five from Norway for three weeks.  The youngest boy is a friend of my son, Kaleb, so we invited the whole family over for their first ever visit to America.  It was interesting to hear their observations of differences between our two countries.

Janne, the mom, said, “Everyone here greets each other with open arms and a big hug.”  That would never happen in Norway, where a polite handshake and a smile is the norm.  Janne practiced the American style of hugging on a few of my friends and it made her laugh every time.  It’s out of her comfort zone to give a hug.  She noticed how often Kaleb hugged me or sat on my lap and she commented several times she thought it might become a problem for Kaleb as he ages, that we are “so close.” 

Haavard, the dad, spent time talking politics with my husband, so he noted that Americans have more political choices than Norwegians do.  In Norway, no one but the politicians are allowed to vote on particular matters.  Norwegians can only vote in their politicians, but then have no voice on any issues.  They can call an election at any time, however, and vote out whoever they want.  Sweet.

Sondre, the 18-year old, said he liked how cheap the prices are in America.  Nearly every day he was here, he asked if we could stop by Wal-Mart.  He also liked Ross, where their family bought 21 pairs of shoes to take home.  A pair of name brand tennis shoes costs about $250 in Norway, but at Ross, they got them for about thirty bucks.

Haakon, the 15-year-old, noticed right away that the roads are so much bigger, with so many more lanes on each side.  We were stuck in traffic a few times, however, so he could see, they still weren’t big enough.

Andre, the 11-year-old, liked all the food.  He thought the candy and snack options were better, as well as the fast food choices.  Eating out in Norway is ridiculously expensive so Andre came to love Taco Bell, Subway and Costco pizza while he was here.

The whole family noticed we are on different time schedules.  Norwegians tend to stay up until the wee hours of the morning, then sleep til noon when they are on vacation.  One day they wanted to go to the beach but they weren’t ready to go until four.  They’re used to the sun never setting in the summer, so their days never end in Norway, but here, the days often ended shortly after we arrived at our destination. 

Hardy Folks

Just a few weeks ago we were invited to an outdoor “family fun day” sponsored by our church.  It happened to be pouring down rain that Saturday, but we put on our rain jackets and headed out anyway.  I guess we’ve been around Norwegians enough that we realize “rain happens” but it doesn’t have to ruin any plans.  We were shocked when we showed up and no one else was there. 

When we lived in Norway, families put on their raincoats, rain pants and boots and headed on out, hiking in the mountains, walking in the neighborhood, riding bikes into town – all in the rain.  It rains so much in our hometown in Norway that if people waited for a nice day to do anything outdoors, they’d never get outside.  My son even complained when he attended school there that they must go outside during recess, no matter what the weather.

When we lived in Norway we were invited to a school beach party.  It was pouring down rain that day but everyone still showed up with their little beach grills and hot dogs.  People stood around under umbrellas, grilling and carrying on conversations like nothing was wrong with the day.  Kids played soccer in the rain while parents prepared the picnic. 

Norwegians are a hardy bunch.  Even in the winter, the kids play soccer in the snow.  One of the funniest things we saw was a snowplow working the local soccer field.  They cleared the field and piled up the snow around the edges so the kids could still have their practice.  In America, my son was on a soccer team for a few years in LaConner.  They played for eight weeks in the fall.  I signed him up for soccer in Norway and was shocked to find out they play soccer all year around, except for eight weeks in the summer.  He didn’t make it the whole year, it was just too brutal.

Summer weather in Norway is often brutal as well.  My husband’s cousin Odd (pronounced “Ode”) likes to say, “If it’s summer, we’re outside.”  He has a deck with an outdoor heating unit attached and plenty of wool socks and blankets in which to bundle up.  No matter what the weather, if it’s summer, he is indeed, outside enjoying the fresh air, eating dinner, having a beer, reading the newspaper.  It all must be done outside.

Helly Hansen, a famous Norwegian outdoor sportswear company has encapsulated the entire Norwegian philosophy by creating a slogan that gets repeated often in Norway on rainy days -  “There’s no such thing as bad weather – just bad clothes.”  How true it is.

Thanks

There are many ways to express thanks when in Norway.  The most common expression is “Tusen takk” - it means “A thousand thanks.”  My husband, Kory, jokingly explains to people that for years, Norway could never afford to say, “Thanks a million,” because they were a poor country.  Times have changed that, but the “Tusen takk” remains. 

When paying for something in the store, the person giving back the change often says, “Thanks shall you have,” (“Takk skal du ha”) as a way of saying thanks for shopping there.  It sounds awkward to me.

When greeting someone you haven’t seen for a while, whether it’s been just a day, or years, it’s customary to say, “Thanks for last” (“Takk for sist”), which is shorthand for, “Thanks for the last time I saw you.  I still remember it fondly.”  I like that greeting.

After eating, one should always say, “Thanks for the food,” (“Takk for maten”).  Often children will jokingly say this little rhyme to their parents, “Takk for mat og takk for drikke, oppvasken tar jeg ikke,” which means, “Thanks for the food and drink, but I won’t clean up.”

In very traditional homes, the children will walk over to their mother, curtsy or bow, shake her hand, and say their thanks for the meal.  That routine was common a few generations back and still survives in some homes today.  Of course now, the thanks would go to whoever made the food, mother or father.

It’s common to thank God before eating and in many Christian homes, a prayer of thanks is also said when they are done.  My favorite pre-meal prayer translates as, “Many have food but cannot eat.  Others can eat, but have no food. We have food AND we can eat, therefore we will praise the Lord.”  My son’s favorite is, “Food, Hallelujah, Amen.”

When departing someone’s home, it’s important to say, “Thanks for me” (“Takk for meg.”)  It’s shorthand for, “Thanks for inviting me, I had a great time.”  If spending the night in a Norwegian’s home, before retiring, it’s polite to say, “Thanks for today,” (“Takk for idag.”)

I’ve made plenty of mistakes speaking Norwegian, even when just saying “Thanks.”  We were invited over for an evening at some friend’s house.  As we said our goodbyes, I said what I would normally say in English at the end of such a lovely night -“Thanks for everything.”  But when I translated that to Norwegian and said “Takk for alt,” I got a startled look from our hostess and she jokingly asked if I thought she was going to be dying soon.  I quickly learned that in Norway, “Thanks for everything” is only said to a dead person.  Oops. 

Kissin' Cousins

My dad grew up in the Ozark Mountains of southern Missouri and he used to tell me some pretty funny jokes about family members marrying each other.  They were just jokes, though, and based on my genealogy research for his side of the family, no one was even remotely related to one another.  We still had some good laughs about the stereotypes of those “hillbillies” down south, where everyone was related.

That whole intermarriage thing isn’t really a joke when it’s true to life, though. No where have I seen family trees looking more like vines than in researching Norwegian family roots - including my mother’s side of our family.  I’ve also helped many friends do research on their Norwegian ancestry and I’ve yet to find a tree that didn’t have some family members marrying each other.  They obviously didn’t get out much.  First and second cousins marrying each other was very common in the old days, but shockingly, it still happens today.  It’s not illegal in Norway for first cousins to marry.  In fact, the parents of the King of Norway himself are first cousins.

The year we lived in Norway we met one of our neighbors – a young guy from California whose mom grew up just down the street from where we lived.  He was living in Norway for a few years just for the fun of it.  As we got to talking we discovered he is related to my husband, Kory, which caused the conversation to turn to how it seems everyone is related to everyone else in that area.  He told us when he meets a woman he’s interested in and asks her on a date, before he ever kisses her, he finds out where her family came from, for that very reason.  Unbeknownst to him, he’d been on a few dates with second cousins and it grossed him out.  He had no desire to become Kissin’ Cousins with anyone.  Coming from America, he has a different view on things than the Norwegians, who think it’s perfectly normal.

Jens, one of Kory’s relatives, married his own second cousin.  Jens didn’t know at the time he started dating her that they were related, but once he found out they had more in common than he initially thought, it didn’t stop their affections.  Jens’ parents were first cousins - so being married to his second cousin didn’t seem so bad to him.  Two of Jens’ great grandparents were siblings and their other sibling was the great grandfather to his wife.  That family tree is a very twisted vine, but all the descendants seems just fine to me – not at all like some of the people we’ve seen running around in the Ozarks.