Sizes

(A rerun of an early article - )

They have a saying in Norway that, “Everything is bigger in America,” and while that may be true, from my perspective, things are just smaller in Norway.  The roads in Norway are very narrow, and often have only one lane.  Every so often there will be a little bulb-out spot where one car needs to go when encountering another car so they can pass each other.  Often times that means someone has to back up to reach it.

The cities are much smaller.  Oslo, the largest city in Norway, has just over 600,000 people.  And to my knowledge, there’s not a single “McMansion” or “Starter Castle” in the whole land.  Houses are very moderately sized and when Norwegians have come to visit us in America, they just laugh at the lavish homes we have here.  They also laugh when we arrive at the airport with our many large pieces of “American luggage.” Norwegians usually just travel with one small carry-on bag, even if they are crossing continents.  Cars are smaller in Norway, too, as are parking places, so I’m always challenged to find a spot big enough for our American made “mini” van. 

I do see a lot of wisdom in the smallness of things, though.  The washing machines in Norway are much smaller, and as a result, don’t hold as many clothes, so I have to do laundry more often, which means I need less clothes, which is good because the closets are smaller and don’t hold much. 

The refrigerators are smaller and that’s good because I never lose track of anything in them, which saves us money on our grocery bill, which is otherwise HUGE.  

The size of products available in the store is much smaller than in America.  (Oh, how Norway needs a Costco to really shake things up.)  Mayonnaise comes in a tube the size of toothpaste and the largest container of flour or sugar in the whole land never exceeds a kilo - about two pounds.  At first I was frustrated by this, but one time when I needed to take the bus home after grocery shopping, I realized why everything was so micro sized.  Many people don’t have cars, so walking or taking public transportation is their only option.  Groceries are heavy.

I buy Oxi-clean at Costco in America in a two gallon bucket, but in Norway it comes in a container the size of yogurt.  Cookies also come in a much smaller pack but that actually works to my advantage because when I get stressed out and eat a whole package – it isn’t nearly the same number of calories.  I guess that’s why the people in Norway are smaller, too.

Shopping

(Apologies - I've been too busy to write anything new so this is a modified version of an article from over 2 years ago. :)

Shopping for groceries in Norway is always an adventure.  It’s one thing when I’m feeling adventurous and buy a Norwegian product made to tickle the local’s taste buds, but it’s often quite frustrating when I’m looking for a run-of-the-mill product I’m used to buying in America.

One time I checked every grocery store in our city for ground cornmeal so I could make cornbread, but had no luck until I happened upon a box with a picture of corn on the outside.  I was sure I’d hit the jackpot, until I got it home and discovered I’d purchased cornstarch instead.  I never did find cornmeal.

Spices come in sealed foil pouches with the same illustration of a bouquet of herbs on every packet so there is no possible way to know which spice is inside until I learn what the Norwegians call them, and it’s never even close to the name we Americans use.  I’ve often bought several spice packets, taken them home, cut them open and started sniffing, trying to figure out what in the world I just bought and how I might use it up so it doesn’t go to waste.  Cooking is an expensive endeavor in Norway.

One day soon after we moved there, I spent a good twenty minutes trying to locate vanilla and baking soda in the market.  I had no less than four people try to help me.   One product I ended up with was called “natron” and I hoped it was indeed baking soda.

When I tried to verify that the package actually contained baking soda, I asked the employee whether I could use it not just for cooking, but to brush my teeth and clean things. I got a most definite, “No.” I figured they either aren’t hip to the many great uses for baking soda, or I got the wrong thing.  Only time would tell I got lucky with that purchase.

As for the vanilla… a customer in the store overheard my repeated description of “black water” which was the best way I knew how to describe vanilla extract in my limited Norwegian vocabulary at the time.  The customer handed me a container with some kind of powder in it, clearly marked “vanila” and wondered what my problem was.

I spoke again in broken Norwegian, saying “No, black water.”  She explained to me in broken English that her daughter-in-law was from Australia and she had the same problem – she wasn’t used to cooking with the vanilla powder, either, but that’s all they have available in Norway.

She also told me her daughter-in-law only lasted five years and then went back home. “Too many differences,” she said. I still don’t know whether she was referring to the marriage, or the vanilla.

April Fools

While we Americans may pull innocent little jokes on each other on April Fool’s Day, we have a long way to go before we rival what the whole of Norway does on April 1^st.

Individual pranks in Norway are not very common, but what makes their day trump ours is that their media participates.  Both television and newspapers join in on the festivities and publish one story on April 1^st that is a complete hoax. It’s a festive day in Norway with everyone all abuzz trying to figure out which story is bogus.

I didn’t know about this tradition the year we lived in Norway.  When I read the newspaper that day, I was so upset by a particular story I immediately started formulating a letter to the editor. 

The most famous lookout and best place to take photos above our beloved city, was reported as sold to a developer because the community needed extra funds.  Luxury condos would be built in its place. It was almost like selling off the town’s soul.  The article included drawings of how the hilltop would look, and interviews from the architect and developer.  It was impressively believable, and I fell for it hook, line and sinker.  When I went to get help from a cousin in writing the letter, it was then I found out I’d been duped. 

Every newspaper in the country puts in one fake story on the first of April and they never retract it or reveal which one it is.  The evening news also broadcasts a hoax that day.  The national tourist board even ran an ad over in Sweden one year, just to pull one over on the Swedes.  They advertised a new underground railroad that would travel from Stockholm to northern Norway in less than an hour.  The phone number they printed for more information basically said, “Gotcha.” 

Published hoaxes have included reports about a new law that kindergarteners must wear protective helmets to school for additional safety; the national labor union eliminated some of the holidays in order to improve competitiveness; and all medical patients will receive a micro chip implant in order to better track their medical conditions.  The best one, I think though, was the one where the government reported confiscating over 100,000 bottles of wine from smugglers and rather than let it all go to waste, they would be distributing it on a first come first serve basis at certain liquor stores.  The lines started forming early on April 2^nd, but the thirsty customers were not able to drown out their sorrow when they realized they’d been fooled.